Was just bored and thought I would post
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-- Edna St. Vincent Millay
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It is not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's one
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-- Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down
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You have acquired a scroll entitled 'irk gleknow mizk'(n).--More--
This is an IBM Manual scroll.--More--
You are permanently confused.
-- Dave Decot
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Afternoon, n.:
That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the
morning.
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Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western
Civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
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Rule of Feline Frustration:
When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly
content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
-- Plato
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Real computer scientists only write specs for languages that might run
on future hardware. Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo
sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
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Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
corner of the workshop.
Corollary:
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike
your toes.
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Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it
needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
-- Kipling
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Hello, he lied.
-- Don Carpenter quoting a Hollywood agent
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Pittsburgh Driver's Test
(7) The car directly in front of you has a flashing right tail light
but a steady left tail light. This means
(a) one of the tail lights is broken; you should blow your horn
to call the problem to the driver's attention.
(b) the driver is signaling a right turn.
(c) the driver is signaling a left turn.
(d) the driver is from out of town.
The correct answer is (d). Tail lights are used in some foreign
countries to signal turns.
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Posted by: rape in movies at December 12, 2004 07:09 PMI must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts
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As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are
interested in the basic nature of humor. What kind of a sick
perverted disgusting person are you, these letters typically ask,
that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat? ...
-- Dave Barry, Why Humor is Funny
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A general leading the State Department resembles a dragon commanding
ducks.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
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Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger
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Death to all fanatics!
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UNIX was half a billion (500000000) seconds old on
Tue Nov 5 00:53:20 1985 GMT (measuring since the time(2) epoch).
-- Andy Tannenbaum
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The Briggs/Chase Law of Program Development:
To determine how long it will take to write and debug a
program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add one, and
convert to the next higher units.
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Another Glitch in the Call
------- ------ -- --- ----
(Sung to the tune of a recent Pink Floyd song.)
We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Did you leave the lists alone?
Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
Chorus:
All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go
away.
-- Philip K. Dick
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Posted by: online poker at December 24, 2004 08:44 AMThe Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's
outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by
mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club. Once
tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims
the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.
-- Mike Harding, The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac
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