August 27, 2004
Unfair animal names:
-- tsetse fly -- bullhead
-- booby -- duck-billed platypus
-- sapsucker -- Clarence
-- Gary Larson
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened
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-- Mark Twain
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Abstainer, n.:
A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
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-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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Chicken Little was right.
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In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that The carrying
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`
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examples.
-- Charles Dickens
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It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the
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When I said we, officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
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I've built a better model than the one at Data General
For data bases vegetable, animal, and mineral
My OS handles CPUs with multiplexed duality;
My PL/1 compiler shows impressive functionality.
My storage system's better than magnetic core polarity,
You never have to bother checking out a bit for parity;
There isn't any reason to install non-static floor matting;
My disk drive has capacity for variable formatting.
I feel compelled to mention what I know to be a gloating point:
There's lots of room in memory for variables floating-point,
Which shows for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
I've built a better model than the one at Data General.
-- Steve Levine, A Computer Song (To the tune of
Modern Major General, from Pirates of Penzance,
by Gilbert & Sullivan)
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You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
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parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
-- Sherlock Holmes
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
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While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own
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George Washington was first in war, first in peace -- and the first to
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-- Ashley Cooper
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Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today --
I think he's from the CIA.
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Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
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Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
-- F. M. Hubbard
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If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
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-- Stanley Garn
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You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
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Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good
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one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the
winner. The reason there are two sides to begin with usually is
because neither side has all the facts. Therefore, when the wise
mediator effects a compromise, he is not acting from political
motivation. Rather, he is acting from a deep sense of respect for the
whole truth.
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