The Street Scene Weblog - A Vince Outlaw Weblog

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with
the ideal never goes unpunished.
-- Goethe

Bonjour

Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
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Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what
is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any
price.
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Baruch's Observation:
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
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We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the
hardware, but we can *___see* the blinking lights!
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The superfluous is very necessary.
-- Voltaire
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To understand this important story, you have to understand how the
telephone company works. Your telephone is connected to a local
computer, which is in turn connected to a regional computer, which is
in turn connected to a loudspeaker the size of a garbage truck on the
lawn of Edna A. Bargewater of Lawrence, Kan.

Whenever you talk on the phone, your local computer listens in. If it
suspects you're going to discuss an intimate topic, it notifies the
computer above it, which listens in and decides whether to alert the
one above it, until finally, if you really humiliate yourself, maybe
break down in tears and tell your closest friend about a sordid
incident from your past involving a seedy motel, a neighbor's spouse,
an entire religious order, a garden hose and six quarts of tapioca
pudding, the top computer feeds your conversation into Edna's
loudspeaker, and she and her friends come out on the porch to listen
and drink gin and laugh themselves silly.
-- Dave Barry, Won't It Be Just Great Owning Our Own
Phones?
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One Page Principle:
A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch
paper cannot be understood.
-- Mark Ardis
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I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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Turnaucka's Law:
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its
electrical cord.
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WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST EDUCATED AMERICAN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way
before it is understood.
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While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own
form of misery.
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There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and
engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far
the more certain.
-- Baron Rothschild, ca. 1800
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Emerson's Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we
can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
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This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life,
you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where
to go.
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8971
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Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if
you run out of food.
-- Dean McLaughlin.
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I don't care for the Sugar Smacks commercial. I don't like the idea of
a frog jumping on my Breakfast.
-- Lowell, Chicago Reader 10/15/82
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3594 Great posts.

We feel that we add so much personal value to yao ming our products that people will continue to buy. babe ruth Digital images also give the consumer so much more michael schumacher control of their photo that they will continue shaquille o'neal to want to do creative things with their personal michael jordan pictures. The Photo Marketing Association did a tiger woods study and determined the top 10 occasions for photo peyton manning taking ranked in order are pets, baby, parties. kobe bryant The main reasons for taking photographs, according kevin garnett

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
-- Steve Wright
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He did decide, though, that with more time and a great deal of mental
effort, he could probably turn the activity into an acceptable
perversion.
-- Mick Farren, When Gravity Fails
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Scott's second Law:
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found
to have been wrong in the first place.

Corollary:
After the correction has been found in error, it will be
impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
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Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

-----------------------------

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Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
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OTHER REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES MAY RETORT TO PERSONAL ATTACKS AND NEGATIVE ADS.
- George W Bush,FUND-RAISING LETTER FROM GEORGE W. BUSH, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST, MARCH 24, 2000 satellite tv http://dish-network-satellite-dish.com

Reintegration complete, ZORAC advised. We're back in the universe
again ... An unusually long pause followed, ... but I don't know
which part. We seem to have changed our position in space. A
spherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the
starfield surrounding the ship.

Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us, ZORAC
announced after a short pause. The designs are not familiar, but they
are obviously the products of intelligence. Implications: we have been
intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown, and
transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown.
Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious.
-- James P. Hogan, Giants Star
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Peter's Law of Substitution:
Look after the molehills, and the mountains will look after
themselves.
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The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the
combination is locked up in the safe.
-- Peter DeVries
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You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You're not paid enough to
worry.
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A hypothetical paradox:
What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security
team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of
Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?
-- Tom Galloway
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You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington
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The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing
more important to do.
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This is lemma 1.1. We start a new chapter so the numbers all go back
to one.
-- Prof. Seager, C&O 351
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Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent.
-- Walt Kelly
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Man is physically as well as metaphysically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start. by online poker

If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.
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