The Street Scene Weblog - A Vince Outlaw Weblog

umm....that's not the accident experiment.

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Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
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It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be
privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to
corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.
-- George Bernard Shaw
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Cancel me not -- for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.
-- Stanislaw Lem, Cyberiad
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Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Second Law of Business Meetings:
If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you
will pick the wrong one.

Corollary:
If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it
wrong, anyway.
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Everything you know is wrong!
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Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
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For an adequate time call 555-3321
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Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
-- Plato
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When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half
loop?
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Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that
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whole week.
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Peter's Law of Substitution:
Look after the molehills, and the mountains will look after
themselves.
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Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.
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This land is full of trousers!
this land is full of mausers!
And pussycats to eat them when the sun goes down!
-- Firesign Theater
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Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.
-- Louise Beal
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Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
-- Plato
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Never offend people with style when you can offend them with
substance.
-- Sam Brown, The Washington Post, January 26, 1977
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A general leading the State Department resembles a dragon commanding
ducks.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
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Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:

(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
food?
(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living
right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
longer.)

That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.
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What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing
to compare it with.
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I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.
-- Florence Henderson
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Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.
-- William Buckley

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One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
do and always a clever thing to say.
-- Will Durant
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Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
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Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the
Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an
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-- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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